Officially TTC!!!

I went for my pap yesterday and as I was answering questions for the nurse she asked me if I wanted to have my IUD removed during the pap. I was completely shocked! I was told on the phone that I had to wait until after my pap was done and make another appointment to have it removed. So I said yes and have been super happy about it since! Contrary from what I have been told several times by various people it didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as it did getting put in. I had a tiny cramp that lasted a whole second.
So now my husband and I are starting our journey on trying to conceive our precious baby. So if you're reading keep a prayer in your heart for me and I will continue a prayer for all others ttc!

Mixture of thoughts.

Tomorrow is my 26th birthday. While I feel fine with aging, I am saddened by the thought that I don't really have anything to show for it. I have my husband, but that's it. I don't have any children, I don't have a college degree...at this point I don't see myself ever having one. I don't have any great hobbies, I mean I love to take pictures, but I'm limited to my lil point and shoot. Even still, I'm not great at photography, I'm okay with it but I couldn't ever make a career out of it. I can't do anything else. I have no original ideas, can't write, draw, build, knit, or do anything else crafty.
I'm gonna be 26 and I literally feel physically like I am a 70 year old woman. I have so much pain in my body, I don't know if it's anything to do with the PCOS or not. I would love to find out, but all the doctors think that I just need to lose weight. Well, no matter how much I lose, because I have lost quite a bit, the pain does not go away. Maybe if I lost 100 lbs but what am I supposed to do in the mean time? Suffer?? I can't exercise because of how much pain I am in all the time. My feet, more specifically my left foot (one I have sprained three times in my lifetime) nearly always hurts. I have been to a podiatrist and all he told me was that I had high arches and that wearing custom orthotics would help, alas they did not. It felt as though I had a rubber ball under my foot. Ugh.
I just needed to write out my thoughts because I'm tired of going over them in my head constantly. Hopefully it will help.

Finally.

I have now been with my employer for over a year, which means I qualify for the insurance.  While it's not great insurance it does pay 100% of any preventative care and 100% of the removal of my IUD so I can FINALLY start trying for a baby. I have my first appointment for an exam on July 17th and them from there I schedule the IUD removal. Then when everyone and I do mean everyone asks when we are going to have a baby I can at least say we are working on it. Since the wedding, almost daily someone asks. Even still, I will have to deal with the fact that I have PCOS and it's a great possibility that it could take years before we get pregnant. I don't know if I can handle that...I might go crazy and feel like a totally useless woman. So if you're reading this blog, please keep us in your prayers and I will keep in mine that any woman suffering from infertility gets her miracle.