Month of stress

This last month has been particularly stressful for me. I first find out through facebook of all places that my little sister has become pregnant. It's been over a month since I found out and she has yet to tell me. I'm not sure if she assumes that  I know because all of her other siblings know (she's my half sister, and in total has nine siblings) or if she is hiding it from me because she knows I am ttc and thinks it would hurt me. It hurts me that she hasn't told me, and it makes me feel like she doesn't want to have anything to do with her and her child. A little background on her; she has PCOS, but she unlike me only has minimum symptoms. I have all symptoms. And apparently her fertility is not in jeopardy...am I jealous? Of course I am! But that doesn't  mean that I am no overjoyed for her! She is wonderful with children and she will be a fantastic mother! Maybe I'm making more of this than I should, but I am just so hurt that she hasn't told me. Not a text, not a phone call, a message over facebook even. I have disconnected myself from facebook because of this, it's still there I just haven't checked it in over a month...since March 27th actually, the day she basically announced she was with child.

And then...

Just a few days later my very good friends girlfriend gives birth to their second child. She was a couple days late so she forced herself into labor using castor oil. How smart, right?

And now...

Not even a week after I found out my sister was pregnant this girl at work...who knows my struggle and how badly I want a child shows me pictures of her pregnancy tests. I know people without fertility issues have no idea how painful it can actually be for the person who does so I do not fault her or anyone that announces their pregnancies/shows off their bellies ect...I am happy for her as well.

Babies, babies everywhere.
Everywhere but HERE.
<\3

Been awhile...

It has been quite awhile since my last post. My husband and I are still TTC, I just started temping on Monday, February 11, 2013. However, I don't think that it is working for me because my temps every morning on the chart are drastic differences. I have a friend at work that I am going to consult with next time I see her. She has PCOS as well. According to the fertility tracker I have on my phone it says that I should be ovulating today. I definitely don't feel like I am. I don't even know for sure the last time I actually ovulated. I'm pretty sure that it has been over a year. My breasts don't feel sore at all my CM seems normal...

I have a lot of stress right now, the company I work for has completely lost its mind...everyone there is kind of going nuts because they keep implementing new rules or coming up with crazy things to really tick everyone off. People are quitting left and right and they aren't replacing them. The company isn't suffering, nationally or worldwide for that matter...but for our local store it's in dire need of help. New management (good management) is desperately needed. In the last year, we went from position eight in the state to probably 100. Not good, not good at all. Customers are angry because they either can't get the product that they want or they can't find any help from an associate as we hardly have any...I just don't know what to do. I am afraid for my job, not that I want to stay there, but I cannot afford to leave at this time. I go to work extremely stressed out and leave 10x worse. My body feels broken at the end of the day and there is nothing I can do to help that. Other than that my husband and I are living paycheck to paycheck and will until he graduates from school. However, he has been unable to go in the last two years because having no money to go.