This last month has been particularly stressful for me. I first find out through facebook of all places that my little sister has become pregnant. It's been over a month since I found out and she has yet to tell me. I'm not sure if she assumes that I know because all of her other siblings know (she's my half sister, and in total has nine siblings) or if she is hiding it from me because she knows I am ttc and thinks it would hurt me. It hurts me that she hasn't told me, and it makes me feel like she doesn't want to have anything to do with her and her child. A little background on her; she has PCOS, but she unlike me only has minimum symptoms. I have all symptoms. And apparently her fertility is not in jeopardy...am I jealous? Of course I am! But that doesn't mean that I am no overjoyed for her! She is wonderful with children and she will be a fantastic mother! Maybe I'm making more of this than I should, but I am just so hurt that she hasn't told me. Not a text, not a phone call, a message over facebook even. I have disconnected myself from facebook because of this, it's still there I just haven't checked it in over a month...since March 27th actually, the day she basically announced she was with child.
And then...
Just a few days later my very good friends girlfriend gives birth to their second child. She was a couple days late so she forced herself into labor using castor oil. How smart, right?
And now...
Not even a week after I found out my sister was pregnant this girl at work...who knows my struggle and how badly I want a child shows me pictures of her pregnancy tests. I know people without fertility issues have no idea how painful it can actually be for the person who does so I do not fault her or anyone that announces their pregnancies/shows off their bellies ect...I am happy for her as well.
Babies, babies everywhere.
Everywhere but HERE.
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